FEMOSPHERE

I was recently listening to the Trent Horn vs. Pearl Davis debate on YouTube when I noticed an interesting red pill talking points. The debate was on marriage, more specifically, if marriage is a “bad deal” for men.

Pearl, who believes that marriage is a bad deal for men, repeatedly asked the question: if marriage is so good, why do we need to convince men to get married?

At first, Pearl’s question was laughable. That was until I noticed that many red-pill personalities and followers repeat the same question as though it brings people who still respect marriage into a stalemate. The question is asked as though it were unanswerable.

What makes Pearl’s question a poor defense of her argument that marriage is bad is that it reeks of bad logic. Her logic is incredibly immature and if applied to any other topic would seem like a complaint from an obstinate child.

I can easily imagine a child saying in the same tone, “if going to the dentist is so good, why do you need to convince me to go?”

Or “if eating vegetables is so good for me, why do you need to convince me to eat them?”

Applying Pearl’s question to these other topics shows how ridiculous of a question it is, but it still doesn’t answer her question.

So, if marriage really is good, why do men need convincing?

Men may need convincing on marriage for several reasons. The first being that marriage requires selflessness and sacrifice. Human nature is to follow our wants and needs, not put them aside for another. Marriage requires that both parties be selfless and sacrifice their selfish desires for their partner.

No man, or woman, naturally wants to put others above themselves. Marriage is a lifelong commitment to do just that. This is why some men may need convincing.

Furthermore, marriage requires responsibility. “Adulting” is required for a good marriage. In our current culture, adolescence is prolonged. Young adults are taking longer to achieve “adult” milestones such as getting their driver’s license, getting married, buying a house, and having children.

Being married requires a great level of responsibility. My husband knows that his income is necessary for maintaining our current lifestyle. He doesn’t have the option of quitting on the spot, or simply moving back home with his parents when things get expensive. He also is responsible for my emotional, mental, and physical well-being. He is responsible for checking the locks at night, making sure he is physically fit to protect me from any dangerous situation we find ourselves in. He has to maintain our vehicles, do yardwork and landscaping, do regular maintenance to our house or appliances, all on top of working a full-time job. This requires great responsibility.

Some men would rather remain unmarried because they don’t have to be accountable, and they don’t have to be responsible for anyone but themselves. Marriage requires responsibility, for both husband and wife. This is why it isn’t popular. However, with great responsibility comes great reward.

This is why giving men the rewards of marriage (sex, children, domestic labor, etc) without the responsibility that is required in marriage can be dangerous and irresponsible.

Marriage, when done right, requires that you be responsible, unselfish, and accountable. But marriage, when done right, rewards you with a warm home, a loving spouse, healthy children, and a legacy.