FEMOSPHERE

“Sprinkle, Sprinkle!” Social media trends are moving away from the earthy “trad wife” aesthetic of the early 2020’s and a new trend is taking its place. Women are being encouraged to prioritize a “provider husband” who has the means to lavish them with expensive items, high-end clothing, spare time for yoga and pilates, or expensive cars and vacations.

Trends are typically very vapid and meaningless. However, these trends are indicative of society’s perception of relationships. Multiple trends that encourage women to prioritize material gain over a marriage founded on love and commitment are just the canaries in the coal mine.

I have many posts on this blog about the value of having a provider husband and how to attract one. I believe that provision is one of the most important roles that a husband must fulfill. The Bible even states that a man who does not take care of his family is worse than an infidel (1 Timothy 5:8). However, there is a difference between the way that social media views provision and actual provision. Do not take this critique as though I am saying a husband can lead you to destitution and that be acceptable. A husband must provide for his family.

Materialism is being sold as provision. Many trends on social media show wives being lavished with fancy vacations, expensive beauty regiments, Range Rovers, fine jewelry, and expensive homes. Women who seek after these signs of provision are missing out on what a provider really is.

Firstly, just because a man is rich or gives you expensive gifts does not mean he is generous. A man who has 7 figures in the bank but is not open-handed will be a detriment rather than a benefit. Presence of money does not imply generosity. Some women may date a man with an expensive car and watch yet not realize that he has no intention of being generous with his wealth.

Secondly, provision is so much more than money. He must be able to provide stability. He must be able to provide companionship. He must be able to provide emotionally. He must be able to provide comfort. A woman can live in a humble home and drive a humble car yet have all her needs provided for. A man can bring in 40k a year and still provide for his wife. Provision does not have to be extravagant.

I started (then quickly stopped) watching Desperate Housewives. One of the housewives, Gabrielle, married a man for his money. She is incredibly bored. She spends holidays alone, her husband takes phone calls during family time, and he constantly travels for work. Gabrielle spends money to fill the void, but it doesn’t work.

She begins an affair with their teenage gardener. He gives her the attention and quality time that she desires. He gifts her a single rose from a shrub that he planted for her. Her husband returns from a business trip with an expensive car for Gabrielle and when he asks, “is this the best gift you’ve ever received?” she is silent. The cheap rose means more than a six-figure car.

Women, when looking for a provider, don’t get caught up in material possessions. Look for a man who is a true provider. The word means so much more than money.