FEMOSPHERE

Do you remember your first test at school? I do. It was a test on the book we were reading in first grade. I had read the book, yet I was convinced that the second that paper was presented to me, I would forget every detail and aspect. I had no self-confidence because I had never taken a test before. I had no memory of having taken a test or passed one before.

We are told to have self-confidence. But when you don’t know what you’re doing, which is most of us, it can be hard-nearly impossible to channel. There are a few different things I’ve learned about self-confidence.

The first slip-up most people have when thinking about their confidence, or lack thereof, is that they should have it. Hear me out.

Is it a good thing to be walking around insecure? Of course not. In some situations, is being insecure to be expected? Yes, absolutely.

If you were to join a sport, say gymnastics, but you’d never so much as done a cartwheel before, would you be confident walking into that gymnasium? No!

Security comes with experience.

So, instead of feeling bad for yourself, instead of feeding into that insecurity, understand that perhaps in this sphere you are inexperienced and being insecure is to be expected.

Once you have the understanding you no longer beat yourself up over the fact that you’re insecure. In fact, you can even applaud yourself, you showed up as a novice. Showing up is so important.

Back to my opener, a few grades later I had little anxiety about taking tests because I had passed so many. And those I failed, I knew I would continue to study and move on to the next.

To build self-confidence, you need to show up. Show up for yourself, if you say you’re going to shower at nine, shower at nine. You will start to gain confidence in yourself because you foster discipline.

If you become nervous to talk to men you find attractive, start by talking to someone random, whom you’ll never see again. The first interaction will be awkward, and you’ll be buzzing with nerves, but you can tell yourself “I wanted to talk to him, and I did!” No matter how terrible you deemed that first altercation, you still showed up for yourself! That fosters confidence.

So, next time you find yourself being insecure in a new situation, recognize that it’s normal. Don’t berate yourself, rather embrace that insecurity and decide to keep showing up because you’re worth it.